Goddess

When I went into therapy, in my mid twenties, I subjected myself to a battery of tests, presumably so the therapist could gain some insight into what made me tick. Well, when all was said and done, a very official report regarding the findings, which was never meant for my eyes, found it's way into my hands. The line that I most remember stated that I was ambiguous about being female. I was outraged! How dare someone decide, based on some cockamamie test, that I didn't want to be a woman. In addition to my anger, I was deeply ashamed. I believed I was truly, and irreconcilably, defective. At the time, I had no understanding as to the meaning of this statement, nor did I really know if I was ambiguous or not. Today, many years later, I do understand.

How was I supposed to know about the true meaning of being a woman? I didn't have any positive role models growing up, and there were certainly no deities of the feminine persuasion in the church. I have no desire to cast disparaging remarks on the women in my family. They taught me what they knew - how to cook, clean, and make sure the other members of the family were content and comfortable. They had little self esteem. Their worth was determined by the reactions and responses of the people they believed they were meant to keep happy. How could they impart the wisdom I so sorely needed. They didn't have a clue.

Their teachings gave me some valuable survival skills. Unfortunately, the subliminal message I received was: You come last. You accept, with gratitude, the crumbs of recognition and approval you are given by your husband, children, boss, etc. As a result, I, like so many other women, learned to completely ignore my own needs and desires. I buried them so deeply, I am just now, at age 55, uncovering and rediscovering my hidden treasures.

My mother and grandmothers did not do this knowingly. Nor did this profound ignorance only inhabit the women of my family. This lack of knowledge regarding women, and the sacredness of the feminine, is eons old. It has long been a part of what Carl Jung termed the collective unconscious. In other words, the denial and fear surrounding the feminine has become part of the fabric of world consciousness.

Was this always the way of women? There was a time, before the modern religions extinguished the fire, when the goddess reigned. There was a time when the feminine was sacred, it's power viewed with awe. Women were endowed with the ability to bear children. The ancients did not understand the biology behind this remarkable feat. Women were simply mystical, magickal, and powerful. Today, of course, we understand the workings of the female body. We know that a masculine force is needed, as well, in order for conception to take place. Was it this knowledge that began the pendulum swing from an emphasis on the sacred feminine to the concept of a male god ,and only a male god? I don't think so.

There has always been tremendous fear around the feminine. The masculine aspect of sacred energy represents doing. The feminine represents being. There is mystery and fear surrounding being. Being is communion with All That Is. The feminine creates the space to allow such experiences. That's true power.

Our present world is just beginning to allow for this power. It remains, largely, unfamiliar. Unfamiliarity breeds discomfort, for both men and women. Regardless, the time is now. We can't afford to wait. Open your heart and step into her loving embrace. Let her transform you. Let her heal you. Let her love you.

Goddess Bless.