Reinvention

I'm contemplating what to do with this blog. I began with a single minded idea - to discuss my spiritual evolution. I have evolved a great deal since I began it. I just don't want to label myself as one thing or the other anymore. My practices are still very tied to the Goddess and the teachings of Wicca. However, I'll take inspiration and guidance from wherever it comes.

I'd like this blog to be more well-rounded. I'm in the process of revamping it. It will look different when I'm through. I just don't exactly know how I want it to look.

Part of the desire for change comes from some of the amazing blogs I've been reading. There are some fantastic women out there living extraordinary lives. Here are just a couple you might wish to check out. They are not necessarily pagan blogs. They have wonderful stories/insights to offer.

- thegoldpuppy.blogspot.com
- travelswithpersephone.blogspot. com

Let me know what you think.

Blessings, Love, and Light!

Falling

I haven't posted in many months. I don't really know what to say. I've isolated myself for a long time. I feel the need to connect with people, yet, I don't know where to start. Maybe I just do what I'm doing and write.

My life has changed over the last several months. I have become much more aware of how I want to live. I'm much less tolerant of those who wish to keep me in my self-inflicted box, in order to make themselves feel safer. I will not be contained by fear any longer. I'm very close to taking a giant leap of faith. I've done it before. The actual jumping is the hardest part. I'll be back when I land.

Wishing everyone a most joyous and blessed holiday season.

Passing

Cheyenne 1995-2010
May Your Spirit Soar

My husband and I finally had to make the heartbreaking decision to put our beloved girl down. She took a very noticable turn the other night and we knew it was time. Her passing was very peaceful. There is a very big empty space in our lives at the moment. We both know her spirit is, once again, free and this has eased our heartache to a degree.

She passed on Imbolc. This gave me great comfort. I know she walked into her new destiny by Hecate's side. I am grateful for all the wonderful years I had with this most extraordinary animal. She will, forever, live in my heart. May your spirit soar, baby girl!

Winter

Winter’s beauty is not lost to me. I love the full moon peeking through the giant cottonwood’s stark branches. I love the sight of softly fallen snow… so pure, so fresh, so new. I love the clean smell of the biting winter air. Yes, I could be in love with winter if I could live through it as it was meant to be lived.

Winter, to the ancients, was a time of respite from the labors of spring, summer, and fall. Winter was the time to huddle by the family hearth and rejuvenate and replenish the body, mind, and spirit. It was a time to rejoice in the bounty given by the earth mother, as well as a time to feel as though one was being cradled in her nurturing embrace. Winter was the time to reconnect to family, friends, and one’s self. By its very nature, it is the time for introspection…a glorious luxury lost to most of us in this modern era of always being “on the move.”

I’ve come to understand how the seasons of our lives are so intricately entwined with those of nature. It’s so obvious when you take the time to look. Life makes more sense when the comparisons are drawn. Spring…everything is new and buzzing with excitement. There is a palpable electrical current running through the newly budding flora, as well as through our newly forming bodies. Thoughts and action are often as one. Summer…beautiful, more mature; often, an overwhelming sense of nurturing is present. Fall…a time to slow down and take stock of all, thus far, reaped.

I am in the fall of my life. Life is richer and more intensely felt than ever before. The colors of my life often reflect, as Lazarus has said, “a beautiful sadness.” There are great insights and brushes with the Divine. There is also the falling away of the old…habits, patterns of thought, the knowledge that some of those dearly loved will begin transitioning back to Source. As the leaves who have served their purpose begin to fall, acceptance and appreciation of the rhythms of life take root. The hues are deep and draw me in, just as does an autumn sunrise or sunset.

With the turning of the Wheel, we come to winter…ah, winter. I feel its presence. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have fear around its coming. It has its own beauty in shades of black and white. Its contrasts are more defined. The winter of our lives should be a time when the serenity of knowing who we truly are is present. Our focus, ideally, should be about sharing the wisdom gathered during the other seasons. It’s the time to look at all the beautiful leaves we collected, turn them over in our hearts and minds, and decide where they might best be shared. If, through life’s seasons, enough seeds have been planted, nurtured, and acknowledged for the beauty of the gifts given, we will not be living the “winter of our discontent.” For myself, I would like to have laid down my burdens and enjoy floating downriver, letting the current take me home.

Waves

I have been asking myself for a long time, “What is my purpose? Why am I here?” I think I finally know. As a very wise friend puts it, the only purpose is to become more of who we already are. Does that make sense? We are all already who we were meant to be. We just don’t remember. The physical world, with all its trappings, so often clouds and overshadows our true essence. The need to become successful, by society’s standards, keeps our true purpose and authentic gifts either unrevealed, or unappreciated and dishonored. It is our desire to return to the reason for our existence on this earthly plane. We are the extension of Sacred Source in physical form. We are here to remember that and revel in it.

I used to think fame and money would make me happy. I really believe money cannot make you happy. Fame is an attempt to deal with the fear of death. If your true desire is money and fame, and you achieve it, what’s left? Just take a look at Hollywood. This week, yet another talented actress lost her life. I can’t be one hundred percent sure, but I’ll bet Brittany Murphy did not die entirely of natural causes. Seemingly, she had a great life...a career she loved, a husband, money…all the things Americans believe will lead to happiness. Look at Tiger Woods… a career playing golf, walking around in the sunshine a couple months a year, playing a game and raking in the dough. A beautiful wife and lovely children, and, yet, he blew it all up sleeping with a plethora of other women. My guess is that neither of these people had a genuine connection to their true power…the Divine.

As a side note to this week’s tragedy, do you think Saturday Night Live now gets the point that drug additiction, anorexia, world hunger, and every other painful thing they make light of is not so damn funny? That show hasn’t been funny in twenty years. Perhaps, it’s time to quit. If the only things they can write about are the sufferings of fellow human beings, it’s definitely time to stop polluting the already offensive airways.

We live in a society that values the superficial. Many people don’t want to dig deep. All of our institutions, schools and churches included, are constructed in a way to keep us from enlightenment. If it looks good, all is well. All is not even in the vicinity of well. We need to refocus. Uncover our true natures, talents, and gifts. Learn to appreciate the simple things. Turn off the TV once in a while and go to Source. Sit with it, listen to it, let it envelope you, enfold you, love you.

So, what have I realized by examining myself, as well as looking at the people we, as a culture, believe to be blessed. Well, I used to be one of those people. I wasn’t thin enough, pretty enough, wealthy enough, etc, etc, etc. Am I completely cured of my superficial afflictions? No, but I’m a hell of a lot better than I was, and I’m getting healthier all the time. I believe money and fame may be by-products of doing what you love. That’s OK, so long as it’s not defining who you are, as a physical or spiritual being. I believe the lack of tending to spirit is the number one reason things often go so wrong. I’m not talking about going to church on Sunday and calling it good. I’m talking about daily mindfulness and gratitude for who we truly are…children of Sacred Source.

I can’t pretend to know what Brittany and Tiger’s true goals are or were; all I know is something went terribly wrong. I feel sad about the death of Brittany Murphy. On screen, she exuded a light uniquely her own. By all accounts, she was plagued, as are so many of us, by self-doubt and a feeling of not being “good enough.”

I think the true objective of life is to find joy, happiness, peace, and fulfillment in anything and everything we do. This is our mission. This is the way back to wholeness…oneness with Source. There are many blessings to be found in the simple things.

As Wiccans, we follow a different path. Yet, many, many of us wrestle with these same issues. What can we do get back on our chosen paths? What can we do to change the world? There is only one answer. Change ourselves. Each of us sends a vibration out into the Sacred Stream. Each vibration changes the dynamics of the stream. Each change affects the Whole. Let’s stir the waters of mass consciousness and make some waves!


As the darkness gives way to the light, let us be the torch guiding the way home. So mote it be.