Altars

I love altars! I love creating them, much the same way I love creating a bulletin board in my classroom. The process is both fun and sacred. The more I think about it, the more I believe those two words are synonymous.

Here is my altar during various Sabbats:



Litha


Yule


Samhain


Ostara



My everyday altar consists of black, green, and white altar cloths overlaying each other so each color can be seen. It is my altar to the goddesses Persephone, Demeter, and Hecate - my trinity.
I have a print of Persephone hanging above the altar. Also present are statues of an earth goddess, honoring Demeter, as well as one in the image of Hecate. White, black, green, and red candles light the darkness. I keep my chalice, cauldron, pentacle, wand, and an assortment of stones and crystals on the altar, or very nearby. Often, there is an offering bowl on the altar, containing apples or pomegranates - gifts for the goddesses who guide and protect me.



Goddess is alive...Magick is afoot!

Goddess

When I went into therapy, in my mid twenties, I subjected myself to a battery of tests, presumably so the therapist could gain some insight into what made me tick. Well, when all was said and done, a very official report regarding the findings, which was never meant for my eyes, found it's way into my hands. The line that I most remember stated that I was ambiguous about being female. I was outraged! How dare someone decide, based on some cockamamie test, that I didn't want to be a woman. In addition to my anger, I was deeply ashamed. I believed I was truly, and irreconcilably, defective. At the time, I had no understanding as to the meaning of this statement, nor did I really know if I was ambiguous or not. Today, many years later, I do understand.

How was I supposed to know about the true meaning of being a woman? I didn't have any positive role models growing up, and there were certainly no deities of the feminine persuasion in the church. I have no desire to cast disparaging remarks on the women in my family. They taught me what they knew - how to cook, clean, and make sure the other members of the family were content and comfortable. They had little self esteem. Their worth was determined by the reactions and responses of the people they believed they were meant to keep happy. How could they impart the wisdom I so sorely needed. They didn't have a clue.

Their teachings gave me some valuable survival skills. Unfortunately, the subliminal message I received was: You come last. You accept, with gratitude, the crumbs of recognition and approval you are given by your husband, children, boss, etc. As a result, I, like so many other women, learned to completely ignore my own needs and desires. I buried them so deeply, I am just now, at age 55, uncovering and rediscovering my hidden treasures.

My mother and grandmothers did not do this knowingly. Nor did this profound ignorance only inhabit the women of my family. This lack of knowledge regarding women, and the sacredness of the feminine, is eons old. It has long been a part of what Carl Jung termed the collective unconscious. In other words, the denial and fear surrounding the feminine has become part of the fabric of world consciousness.

Was this always the way of women? There was a time, before the modern religions extinguished the fire, when the goddess reigned. There was a time when the feminine was sacred, it's power viewed with awe. Women were endowed with the ability to bear children. The ancients did not understand the biology behind this remarkable feat. Women were simply mystical, magickal, and powerful. Today, of course, we understand the workings of the female body. We know that a masculine force is needed, as well, in order for conception to take place. Was it this knowledge that began the pendulum swing from an emphasis on the sacred feminine to the concept of a male god ,and only a male god? I don't think so.

There has always been tremendous fear around the feminine. The masculine aspect of sacred energy represents doing. The feminine represents being. There is mystery and fear surrounding being. Being is communion with All That Is. The feminine creates the space to allow such experiences. That's true power.

Our present world is just beginning to allow for this power. It remains, largely, unfamiliar. Unfamiliarity breeds discomfort, for both men and women. Regardless, the time is now. We can't afford to wait. Open your heart and step into her loving embrace. Let her transform you. Let her heal you. Let her love you.

Goddess Bless.

Dark Moon

Hear now the words of the Dark Goddess:

Wisdom and Empowerment are the gifts of the Dark Goddess of Transformation.

She is known to us as Kali, Hekate, Cerridwen, Lilith, Persephone, Fata, Morgana, Ereshkigal, Arianhrod, Durga, Tiamet, and by a million, million other names:

Here Me child, and know Me for who I am. I have been with you since you were born, and I will stay with you until you return to Me at the final dusk.

I am the passionate and seductive lover who inspires the poet to dream. I am the One who calls to you at the end of your journey. After the day is done, My children find their blessed rest in My embrace.

I am the womb from which all things are born. I am the shadowy, still tomb; all things must come to Me and bare their breasts to die and be reborn to the Whole.

I am the Sorceress that will not be ruled, the Weaver of Time, the Teacher of Mysteries. I snip the threads that bring My children home to Me. I slit the throats of the cruel and drink the blood of the heartless. Swallow your fear and come to Me, and you will discover true beauty, strength, and courage.

I am the fury which rips the flesh from injustice. I am the glowing forge that transforms your inner demons into tools of Power. Open yourself to My embrace and overcome.

I am the glinting sword that protects you from harm. I am the crucible in which all the aspects of yourself merge together in a rainbow of union.

I am the velvet depths of the night sky, the swirling mists of midnight, shrouded in mystery.

I am the chrysalis in which you will face that which terrifies you, and from which you will blossom forth, vibrant and renewed. Seek Me at the crossroads, and you shall be transformed, for once you look upon My face, there is no return.

I am the fire that kisses the shackles away. I am the cauldron in which all opposites grow to know each other in truth. I am the web which connects all things.

I am the healer of all wounds, the Warrior who rights all wrongs in their time. I make the weak strong. I make the arrogant humble. I raise up the oppressed and empower the disenfranchised. I am justice tempered with mercy.

Most importantly, child, I am you. I am part of you, and I am within you. Seek Me within and without, and you will be strong. Know Me. Venture into the dark so that you may awaken to balance, illumination, and wholeness.

Take My love with you everywhere and find the power within to be who you wish.

Author Unknown

Midsummer

I just wanted to wish everyone a most blessed Midsummer. Today is my birthday! I'm a solstice baby. I was born on my parents' second wedding anniversary, 55 years ago. I don't know where the time has gone. In my heart and mind, I'm still a kid.

I always thought being born on the longest day of the year was special. It was magickal to me before I knew what magick meant. I can remember staying up late, as a child, on my birthday, and waiting for the fireflies to begin their twinkling. It didn't get dark until until almost 9pm, and my brother and I would be running around the lawn in our pajamas. Magickal times, truly.

Tonight, I'm home with my dogs and cats. My husband won't be home from work until 11pm. I had a nice day. He made breakfast for me and gave me a beautiful card. I went for a long walk, with a dear friend, late this afternoon. We sat at the edge of the Arkansas River. We reveled in its peacefulness and were awed by its power.

It's lovely outside...a light breeze stirring, the sound of children playing, much the same as it was so long ago. I'm going to do a simple ritual to commemorate the day. I'll give thanks for another year and celebrate the power of the natural world.

In love and light! Solstice blessings!

Decisions

I made the decision, a very long time ago, not to be Catholic. My family was Catholic. My grandmother was the only one who enjoyed going to church, and I'm not really sure why. My mother never went because of the church's stand on birth control. My dad went out of obligation.

My parents forced my brother and I to go out of fear...fear that we'd go to hell if we didn't receive the sacraments. We both hated going to mass. My father took us most Sundays. The only good thing I remember is that, for a time, Sunday mass was held at the local drive in. The parish was so big, they didn't have room for everyone in the actual church. Well, every now and again, our car would end up right next to my current heart throb's family car. I'd spend the whole time looking at him through the little mirror I carried in my purse.

My brother and I complained more and more about going to church as we got older. My parents said we could decide not to go after we were confirmed. So, right after confirmation, at twelve or thirteen (I can't remember which,) my brother and I opted out. I've never regretted it. What did bother me was I had nothing to take it's place... something to make me less fearful of the unknown.

The Catholic church was supposed to make me feel like a child of god, safe and protected. I never felt that. It's hard to feel safe when everything you do might send you to hell. I never identified with the mass. Most of it was in Latin at the time. How the hell was I supposed to find meaning in something relayed in a dead language! That really made no sense to me. When the church switched to English, I thought maybe things would be different. Nope...didn't help. I felt nothing, zilch, nada, as they say. So, for a long time, I just didn't think about "god."

The thing that started me searching for some deeper meaning, was my having to get out of bed, in the middle of the night, after I had been laying there wondering what was going to happen to me when I died, and walk around my room to keep the panic at bay. Was there just going to be an eternity of nothingness? I couldn't wrap my head around it. I was so frightened. I felt the fear in my core.

In my twenties, I tried other churches of varying denominations. They all left me cold. Meanwhile, my anxiety and my fearfulness was growing by leaps and bounds. One day, I was talking to the woman who was, then, my student teacher. Today, twenty-five years later, she is one of my dearest friends. She suggested I try Transcendental Meditation (TM.) TM was the beginning of my salvation, as well as the first step of my authentic search for my truth. It gave me hope that there really was something out there in the universe with which to connect. That first hour, being initiated into TM changed my life and set me upon the path I tread to this day.

I have traveled far and learned much. There is still so much more to learn. I have come to know that I do not walk my path alone. None of us do. All we have to do is reach into the darkness and feel for the hand that has been guiding us all along.

Beginnings

I am so excited to have a blog dedicated to my spiritual journey! I have a mundane blog, but I'm not comfortable expressing too much about my belief system there. People I work with read it. I'm a teacher in a small, rather conservative town, and, unfortunately, I presently feel the need to remain anonymous. I intend to change that, little by little.

I moved to this town a little less than a year ago. There are Pagans here. There is a metaphysical store downtown. The owner has a small back room where the Wicca merchandise is kept. It is a lovely little room...beautifully decorated. It's just too bad it needs to be made less obvious.

It is my aspiration and ambition, to begin to dispel the misinterpretations of the old ways. I would like to give classes regarding the only form of spirituality that has ever made sense to me. As a teacher, I work with many teenage girls who could benefit from learning about goddess archetypes and how they can be made relevant in one's life today. The girls I'm seeing need a sense of the sacred feminine. They need to learn how to be strong, independent women, connected to the source of us all. What's so weird about that?

(Image - Nene Thomas - She allows personal usage of her artwork - Title: Wisdom)